Breakups are pretty heartbreaking. The pain is excruciating and your state of mind is hopeless. The stages of a breakup might occur all at once or could take months to move on, depending on how serious your relationship was.
To find the ideal partner means breaking up with the wrong people before you meet the right one; the breakup only reflects that you haven’t met The One. Feeling lonely is natural after a breakup. As if nobody can understand your pain but remember, thousands of songs and movies are made over a breakup that implies you are not alone. The whole world is getting heartbroken for love.
After the breakup, It’s important to understand your emotions and feelings to heal them in the right and healthy way. It will be comparatively easy if you would know what to expect next. For that:
Here are the 5 stages of a Breakup that we go through–
Denial
the first stage is denial where a person refuses to accept that his relationship is over. It’s too painful to accept the end of the relation. They secretly expect their partner to come back to their life at any moment. This transpires since the person hasn’t yet processed and acknowledged the breakup on a mental level. They convince themselves of why it isn’t their fault and that their former partner should come back.
Remember, it’s only natural to feel that way. It’s difficult to accept that the person you loved is not part of your life anymore. The best you can do is give yourself time and be supportive of your hurt feelings.
Anger-
Gradually, the denial turns to fear after realizing their ex is not coming back. The same fear invokes anger in them. They might blame their former partner for causing pain and suffering or blame the situation for not working out.
Anger is a part of the grieving process and such negative feelings are only temporary. If you are here, you mustn’t let these negative feelings act you in doing something that you may regret later. You may despise them now but your feelings might change later. Instead, let this anger empower you, to show you that you deserve better.
Restore Relationship-
Once the anger diminishes, the person feels a void in their life. They are ready to do everything to save their damaged relationship. They might try to restore their relationship, If not romantically then as a friend. They spend their time reliving memories they created with their ex and thus desperately strive to revive their dead relationship.
It’s painful to handle that new emptiness however pursuing that relationship will not do any favour. If you try to reform the relationship without reflecting on what went wrong in the first place, it’s only going to hurt you and your former partner. Furthermore, it can damage your equation with your ex.
Don’t burden yourself by wanting to win them over as It takes two people to revive a relationship. Instead, save those efforts and invest them in your healing process.
Reflection-
This phase is a significant one. It’s when the person realizes that the situation isn’t going to change. They stop running away from their hurt emotions and choose to surrender to them. It’s time to work and understand oneself to heal the damage. They have developed enough awareness to reflect back on their behaviour and actions in the last relationship to get the whole picture and clarity.
As it takes two hands to clap, Similarly it’s the contribution of two people that led to the end of the relationship. It’s important to deliberate your side of mistakes and learn from them. Try participating in different activities or hobbies that help you to get productive and distract you from thinking about your ex. Find the passion that excites you. Truly, this phase can elevate you and reconnect you within if you totally surrender to it.
Acceptance-
After recognizing the past mistakes and understanding the former partner’s POV, the person begins to let go of the past relationship and accept the end of it. He acknowledges the part that he played as well as his partner in their relationship. There is no grudge but only forgiveness for whatever happened and gradually the person moves to a peaceful state of mind while keeping the learning in his mind.
It’s the healthiest way to move on. To heal yourself enough to visualize a new beginning. The healing journey is not easy but you will come out better and stronger on the other side.