Relations & Talk

7 Steps to let someone go who isn’t meant for you and create love for yourself.

“If you love something, let it go, If it comes back, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it wasn’t meant to be.”

When asked to Priyanka Chopra Jonas on a talk show ‘Koffee with Karan’ hosted by Karan Johar about “One MIllennial habit in which you can beat an 18-year-old?”, she said “Moving On” with a smile on her face. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could also do that?

Moving on is a hurtful process but it can also reconstruct you to come out as a more strong and wiser person. When you love someone but that person doesn’t feel the right one or perhaps bad circumstances broke your beautiful relation apart, leaving nothing the same as before. Well, It’s time to let them go and all the pain that you are holding. If you have given your 100% to save this relationship but it’s still not working out, leaving you drained and hopeless? then you need to let go.

I know it’s easier said than done, But we can’t control someone’s will. We can only accept the truth. will you beg them to stay in your life? or will you keep fighting until things magically turn pleasant and dreamy? Because that won’t happen. Even if you believe that you shared a strong connection or it was a special bond, you still need to let them go in the moment to save yourself. And trust me, When people are meant to stay in your life, they find their way back.

How to come out of a breakup or a complicated relationship as a more Stronger, Wiser and loving person? Well hear me out:

1. Cut all the contacts.

This is the First step. The moment you made your decision about accepting the truth and moving on, you need to cut all your contacts. This means, delete your conversations(it can be toxic), unfollow them on Instagram, unfriend them from Facebook and if preferred, delete their number. Otherwise, if you keep them on your social media, every story or post will affect your healing and you don’t need that. Also please don’t think meeting them after your break up is a good idea because it never is. You will be back to square one along with the pain.

If they are in your school, college or job. This might be a little difficult but you can still maintain your distance and come out formal. Try to avoid them as much as possible but when you can’t, stay calm and keep your tone neutral while talking to them. Don’t show them your struggle if they aren’t concerned or how it’s affecting you. keep them out of your life to begin your healing.

2. Acknowledge the pain

When every loving relation ends, it hurts, a lot. It’s important to acknowledge that pain and let yourself mourn for what you’ve lost. You can’t numb your pain with alcohol or rebounds because they are only delaying your healing. Let yourself feel everything inside your chest and let it out. if you can sob, even better. Address your vulnerability and accept your pain because acceptance will bring you closer to a meaningful life.

3. Spend time with your friends and family.

It feels refreshing to be with our people who can make us laugh and get us relaxed in tough times. Don’t detach yourself from everyone when you are grieving. Call your friends or go out to see them. Don’t cancel your plans just because you are not in the mood. Spend time with your family, go annoy them because they love it. Life goes on, no matter what and so should you.

4. Drop your fantasy.

Often after a breakup, when we are at the denial stage, we still hold onto the idea of getting back together with our ex. We fantasize about it most of our time or somehow hope that they will come back to us.

You know it too that it doesn’t help. I agree, it’s a good pastime to relive our happy memories but it will also hold you back from getting over them. Remind yourself and your mind that it’s already over otherwise you won’t be able to move ahead if you are secretly wishing and waiting for them to return.

5. Find your passion to keep you Focus.

The only way to distract yourself from your grief is by focusing on your growth. It could be any hobby if you enjoy it. It could be reading if you can lose track of time, maybe to start working on your goals that seemed to be on hold for a long time? For instance, if you always have wanted to learn guitar lessons or take dance classes or perhaps wants to crack your dream job or college, Anything which you are really passionate about. Let’s start with that because it will give you a sense of purpose in life and positive energy.

6. Forgive Them.

If you are healing from a relationship that had miscommunications, arguments, fights or ego clashes, then you must have blamed each other but Blaming will never solve anything because it’s not about who made the mistake or who was wrong. You are two different human being, conflicts and disagreements are justified. Whatever they have done or you’ve done simply tells your actions and decisions. Holding grudges against them will not work in your favour, it will only make you suffer. Instead, forgive them, whatever pain they have caused you, let it go along with them.

7. Be your own kind of Attractive.

It’s time to find peace within you by feeling good about yourself. Take your “me time” and pamper yourself to the fullest. For instance, I styled my hair after my recent heartbreak and yes it felt great.

Take care of your body and your mental health. Build a skincare routine, it helps to feel confident and energised. Try sleeping early at night so you can save yourself from overthinking and feeling sad and can wake up feeling fresh and new. Mediation can also help you to lose anxiety and pain or anything that works for you. If someone else can pamper you and love you, well so can you. It’s all about the small efforts you make for yourself, which heals you.

Don’t forget to Outshine Yourself.