How To Overcome Fear In Life? 5 Ways To Help Our Fear.
How to overcome fear? The word is one but it arrives in countless forms – Fear. From childhood to adulthood, the shape or size of fear may have changed but it never left us. Has it? it’s clear – We can never get rid of fear for good“. It’s a part of our life. It’s a part of our emotions. As we feel anger, hate, jealousy; the same way, we experience fear as well.
What is Fear? I like to quote J. Krishnamurti “The Movement from certainty to uncertainty is what I call fear”
Fear arises in the mind. Every possibility of the unknown or new that your mind is not familiar with, will shout Danger at the sight. WHY? The mind like patterns, routines, familiarity and comfort. Anything that disturbs those frequencies creates unpredictability which makes the mind uneasy. It starts visualising all possibilities that can go wrong.
Fear can hold us back from living our lives joyfully. When fear starts to overpower us, it affects our decisions, relationships, profession and well being. So how do we manage our fear? do we keep running away and ignore them? – for the rest of our lives?
That can’t be the resolution. The way to overcome fear is Through It. After all, fear is not our enemy. It’s a powerful tool for survival, warning us from incoming danger. That’s how our ancestors made it to civilisation. Understanding that Fear is nothing to be afraid of but need to be taken care of.
How to overcome fear in life? I suggest 5 ways to dissolve your fear. Let’s dive into it:
Understand Your Fear
My fear won’t be your fear because of our different life experiences. This means you need to understand what are you afraid of. Whenever you feel afraid (panic, anxiety or stress caused by Fear) notice what caused that. What’s the source of your fear? Do you feel afraid of losing a job? Do you feel insecure in your relationship? or is the fear itself related to you? corner it out. Once you identify it, name it and write it down. Bring it in your conscious part of the mind.
Fear seldom appear horrible in the brain but feel absurd once it’s written down, once you pay total attention to your fear. Writing down our fear is also a powerful move for helping our minds, to provide it clarity. When It’s clear what’s the problem, you can organize your mind to eliminate that fear. How? -let’s get to the next point.
Accept Your Fear
Did I mention fear is not the enemy but it’s a blessing in disguise? It’s sending us signs of something bad may happen. If we don’t acknowledge it, the warning gets louder. The solution lies in acknowledging that warning by simply accepting your fear. Don’t fight it, don’t run away from it and don’t bury it.
Identify if it’s a workable fear or out of control. If it’s the fear that’s not within our control; we can learn to change our reaction toward it. For instance, if you are afraid of death or dying in general then it’s something we can’t change cause it’s the ultimate truth however we can use it as a reminder to live our lives joyfully until we can.
On the other hand, let’s say you resent your job but are afraid to leave it since it provides your family. Such fear can be worked out by figuring out your passion and pursue it while you are off the job. And once your passion can provide for you, you can quit your other job.
Through experience, I realized that fear doesn’t ask for resolution today but it requires regular effort to not let it overwhelm us.
Excessive attachment with anything – a person, position or wealth creates fear of losing it. How to overcome fear built through attachment? By cultivating detachment. It’s a practice of looking at things in life objectively. Checking in with yourself as a 3rd person because over-attachment can fog up your vision from telling what’s sensible and what’s not.
Remember, You are whole and complete. Understand, what you’re afraid to lose is not a part of yourself but a part of your life which means it’s temporary. We can’t hold onto the temporary pleasures, things and times, they can only be enjoyed. Practising detachment gives you a different perception that helps to eliminate fear and obstacles in life. Once we look at fears as a mere part of life routine, the fear itself becomes weak.
Hug Your Fear
Since we cleared that Fear is not our enemy, let’s give it a big hug, shall we? because it’s been worried about you. When we don’t choose to see fear as threatening then it’s not very threatening anymore. If we offer compassion to fear, It would probably want to have a coffee with you and discuss what’s been bothering it.
What does fear want from you? -Your attention. It wants your complete attention. It wants you to listen and importantly, to Understand. Let’s do exactly that. Be the friend of your fear. Offer your undivided attention to it, listen to it without judgment. Once you show genuine care for your fear- it won’t remain fear anymore. You can try verbal statements to communicate your fear. Affirmations like “I see you” or “I am here with you” helps to acknowledge the fear. Provide surety that it’s seeking from you. It will melt your fear away.
Aren’t we all busy in achieving goals, impressing people or occupied with busy schedules that we forgot to be thankful for everything that we already have? Gratitude is the key to breakthrough fears in life. Instead of focusing on negative imaginations or memories, shift the focus to a positive state of mind by simply being Grateful. Gratitude teaches us to accept everything as a gift because life itself is a gift.
If nothing is taken for granted, everything becomes a blessing. Instead of the need to possess or control, love overpowers our fears when we cultivate gratitude, preventing fear from creating a space in the mind.
Try writing down things that you are grateful for, every day. You will notice gradually how cultivating gratitude can shift your thought process and perspective towards positivity.