the Art of Detachment! 5 means to practice & achieve Detachment for a happier life.
For a more satisfying life, we strive to find diverse ways to reach another step towards our higher self and ultimately stumble upon – Detachment, but what does it mean and how do we achieve it? does it mean cutting emotional ties with people and stay aloof? is it capable enough to end our suffering and pain?
Our tendencies to control our lives, relationships, and outcomes lead to excessive attachment but when things don’t work our way, our way becomes the root of suffering. We attach ourselves to things that are completely out of our hand and feel defeated and hopeless when we don’t get what we believe we need.
Detachment is paradoxical, At one end, it requires you to fully involve yourself and live with love, emotions and compassion but on the other end, it demands you to relinquish your attachment from having it. True detachment is the ability to step outside, seeing things objectively and reflect while remaining unaffected of the outcomes to liberate ourselves, allowing yourself to cultivate deep involvement in the world.
‘For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.’ — T.S Elliot, one of my favourite quote defining detachment in simple words.
“It’s a state of being the objective or aloof” description of Detachment. Often, we believe the end of our suffering and pain lies in being distant and aloof especially when we are at our low phase. The idea to cut our ties with people seems tempting enough to try it however being aloof is not your answer as it will also steal your greatest moments and emotion that you have yet to experience. Sure, It might work out for you at the start but only for a short span because you will realize you are still not happy and crave warm sentiments with more time passing.
“So how one practice detachment objectively while staying on the right path? What all things are you attached to ?” let’s uncover the answers that already reside in our mind. Here are the 5 steps to cultivate and practice detachment :
Awareness of your Attachments.
Attachments come in many forms, to be honest, we are surrounded by them. To recognize where your excessive attachment lies is the first step. Uncover the source of your troubled and worried thoughts. is it your current position in the office that you are afraid to lose? or you are frightened to lose the achievement or success that you’ve achieved so far? perhaps it’s about your companion because you can’t imagine your life without them?
Be friends with your mind to raise self-awareness of where attachment happens more frequent for you. My downfall lies in relationships, it could be a completely different zone for you. What’s more essential is to learn our pattern to create changes in our living.
Be the Observer.
Once we learned where our redundant attachment lies, it’s the moment to step back and observe things objectively. Observe your living and actions from a third perspective, are you satisfied emotionally and mentally? furthermore, what things can you change to make that happen? Do you have any control over things that worries you the most? if not, then let it go because it serves no purpose in your life.
I agree, it’s easier said than done and that’s why it requires discipline as detachment cannot be achieved overnight rather it’s a day by day process, Beginning however is the most significant one.
Hold Compassion & Humility.
Our ego is that voice that screams the loudest in our head whenever we feel humiliated, angry or carry too much self-esteem. It’s capable to destroy our values and morals in a second and make us say remorseful things. Ego blinds us to understand someone’s else situation and instead of being compassionate, it always wants us to be right, dominating and better than everyone else around even when we are wrong.
Hold your ego by holding your words. The moment you filter your words when your ego is roaring is when you stepped in the right direction. Remember, it’s not always about you. Be humble and compassionate, be kind and modest to everyone around you. Cut your ties from ego and pride because they act as barriers to your personal growth.
Find your security in the Unknown.
Sometimes, to keep our peace of mind, We demand security in the exterior world, be it Financial security, Security in a relationship, Family Security etc. We become extremely attached to the known security that we resist change and then whenever a wave of uncertainty hit us, we feel threatened to our core, keeping us worried and distressed. It’s necessary to let go of the illusion of security residing in the exterior world otherwise you’ll never be truly satisfied and will chase it forever.
Being open and willing to embrace the unknown, will provide you with a true sense of security. Step into the world of possibilities, approach it with enthusiasm and courage. Embracing the unknown will break our worthless attachments and shove us on the right path of happiness and abundance.
Meditate & Practice.
The power of mediation is so powerful that it can expand our mind and help us in letting go of thoughts and cycle which no longer serves you. Meditation is a reminder of “Why we started to practice detachment in the first place and how important it live free yet lovable life. If you slip up sometimes and find yourself in the same pattern of attachments, do not feel defeated because what you are trying to achieve is bigger than your attachments. Look at the broader vision to understand and feel motivated to meditate each day to change the core of your living.
Since we are talking about detachment, I would encourage you to embrace Yoga practice in your life as it helps us to focus and very beneficial for our body and mind. Glance through the post and please let me know if I could encourage you enough to give Yoga Practice a try.