Can we control our Emotions? 5 Ways to manage emotions to be our own master.
Emotions are responses to significant internal and external events. It’s your mind’s spontaneous reaction such as happiness, fear, love, hatred, jealousy. At times, it might feel like we are ruled by our emotions. The choices we make, our perceptions and our actions, somehow are all influenced by the emotions that drive us, at present.
Can we control our emotion? Not really although our emotions have never been the problem only our quick response to it. For instance, If you hit your head on the wall, feeling pain is natural but imagine if I start blaming the wall or curse myself for not walking straight, would you say it’s a justified response? Or instead of blaming and being furious, I focus my senses to seek an ointment to apply on the affected area and tell myself ‘it’s Alright, I will be careful next time”.
Likewise, In real-world, We always have a choice on how we want to perceive things but it needs rationality, patience and understanding of the moment before making any choice but let’s admit, Oftentimes, we let our emotion get the best of us and act out of our temporary emotions and repent later.
It’s essential to control our immediate reaction to emotions to liberate ourselves from acting out of negative emotions and be the master of our own emotions. Here are my 5 key steps to regulate our emotions, rationally:
Hold your Reaction.
Responding to emotions with a calm mind is important but takes effort. If you hear bad news or if in the middle of a conversation, someone starts arguing with you, would you let that emotion triggers you and react or remain patient to gather your thoughts before acting out?
Reacting to emotions instantly brings nothing but second thoughts later on and soon feels like a mistake. We either end up doing something or saying something we shouldn’t have. So how to be in charge of that moment?
Consciously remind yourself that what you are feeling right now is temporary and will fade away however your decision and words may leave a permanent impression in your life. Before reacting, try to calm your system and stabilize the overwhelming impulse by taking long deep breaths for a few minutes.
Notice how your reaction will vary when you give yourself a moment instead of lashing out & frankly, that’s what we are aiming for, self-realization.
Words hold the power.
All words said in temporary emotions like Anger, Frustration or out of panic may seem ruder and selfish than you intend them to be and that’s why you often have to correct yourself to the person you said things to. This is where we let our negative emotions control us.
Words are a powerful weapon. You can choose and say any word you like but without thinking about the consequences of it, it only brings damage to the other person and your relationship.
When working on your emotion, it’s necessary to look after your words because they can trigger you more especially when driven by one negative emotion.
For instance, If you are frustrated with someone, and you say ” Why can’t you understand what I want? How hard is it? Just leave me alone” By saying it, you might not only hurt other person but you will be more tempted to use such words at the moment to lash out your frustration and anger fully.
Try to find the source of that frustration. is it coming out of past emotions that you been holding back? or maybe you are originally upset because you miss them but only frustration comes on the surface and out of your mouth? Whatever it may be, find the real reason and When you do, be vocal & honest about it to your partner and friends.
Channel your energy.
Human emotions are incredibly powerful. It’s not recommended to let your negative emotion sit inside you while you go about your day as it will only bring you mood swings, low-spirited and a little cranky. That doesn’t sound so appealing, does it?
Emotion shouldn’t be bottled up and so it’s incredibly important to find a way to release that stagnant energy.
Try this, keep a journal and express yourself and your bottled feelings on those notes, releasing and transferring your feeling on those paper. You can also choose to meditate, Practice Yoga or even go for a run. If nothing else, Call up your friends and go meet them, share your heart with someone you trust.
Our purpose is to release ourselves from such negative sentiment, be it any activity which suits you the best.
Forgive your emotion triggers.
Our mind has a habit of repeating memories of unfortunate events, incident, or the things we could have done differently. We all have emotional triggers mainly when we think or talk about someone or something and it automatically brings bitter emotions and leaves us wanting to change it even though it’s part of the past.
It’s simply because we haven’t accepted our past and how it made us feel. You sense a sudden wave of anger when you think about the time when your friend embarrassed you in front of your partner or feel self-loathing whenever you remember how you let your family down. if you can relate, you need to forgive yourself and others by accepting the past as it is because forgiveness brings detachment.
Understand, You don’t owe anything to your past self, furthermore, your past self has done the best it could. Would you make different choices if you had the option today? Yes because you have evolved and grown into a different person who would make better decisions than before.
Accept the past for as it is and let it go.
Replace negative thought patterns
A negative thought process is like a boomerang, it comes back around. If you entertain any negative thought and let yourself dwell on it, the outcomes will be Distraction, Anxious thoughts and more negative thoughts, creating a cycle of negative emotions which goes on and on in your mind.
Whenever any emotion making you feel sad, miserable or anxious, Force it out of your mind and replace it with positive emotion and thoughts. for example, if you are counting ‘What If” but with negative sentiment, try counting all the ‘What if” that can go right.
Try Playing a happy scenario in your head, It could be anything like your Vacation with your friends or quality time with your partner or achieving success in your career. consciously think of scenarios that leave a smile on your face and force out the negative thoughts.
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