How to Let them go and love yourself more
“If you love something, let it go, If it comes back, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it wasn’t meant to be.”
And it couldn’t have said any better. When asked to Priyanka Chopra Jonas on a talk show ‘Koffee with Karan’ hosted by Karan Johar “One MIllennial habit in which you can beat an 18-year-old?”, she said “Moving On” with a smile on her face. That’s right folks, Moving on is indeed a hurtful process yet it also carves you, shapes you up better than ever before.
When you love someone but that person isn’t right for you or maybe bad circumstances took over your loving relationship, Its time to let them go and all the pain that you are holding. Be honest with yourself, If you have given 100% to either your partner or to save your relation and yet if it’s still dead, then accept the truth and let go.
I know its easier said than done, But what other options you have? will you beg them to stay in your life? or will you keep fighting with them until things magically turn pleasant? I THINK NOT.
Even if you believe they are all your soulmate, you still need to let them go to save yourself and your relationship. And trust me, When people are meant to stay in your life, they all find their way back.
- Cut all the contacts.
This is always the First action. The moment you have made your decision about moving on, you need to cut all your contacts. This means, delete your conversations(they can be toxic), unfollow them on Instagram, unfriend them from Facebook and lastly delete their number. Otherwise, if you keep them in your social media, their every story or post will affect you and you don’t need that. Also please don’t think about meeting them after break up is a good idea, it never is. You will be back to square one along with the pain.
If they are in your school, college or job. This might be a little difficult to execute but you can maintain your distance and still come out professional. Try to avoid them as much as possible but when you can’t, stay calm and keep your tone neutral while talking to them. Don’t show them your struggle, or how it’s affecting you. keep them out of your life.
- Acknowledge the pain
When every loving relation ends, it hurts, a lot. It’s essential to acknowledge the pain and mourn for what you lost. You can’t numb the pain with alcohol or rebound relationship, you will only delay your pain. Feel everything inside your chest, let it out. if you can sob, great for you. Address how vulnerable you are and how you feel because you need that to get better and stronger.
- Spend time with your friends and family.
It feels so pleasant to be with a company that can make you laugh and get you relaxed. Don’t detach yourself from everyone else in their grieve. Call your friends, invite them over or go out to see them. Don’t cancel your plans with your friends, you need a break from your sorrowful life. Spend time with your family, go annoy them because they love it. Life goes on and so should you.
- Drop your fantasy
Often after a breakup, when we are at the denial stage, we still hold onto the idea of us getting back together. We fantasize about them, daydream about it most of the day or hope that somehow they will come back.
You know this point too, but that doesn’t help. I agree, its a good pastime but it will also hold you back from getting over them. Remind yourself that it’s over. Your mind and heart also need to learn that this relationship is over but fantasizing about the opposite, will not work in your favour.
- Find your passion to keep you busy
You will need that can keep you busy, and not only physically but mentally. It could be any hobby if you enjoy it. It could be reading if you get lost in the stories. It could be your plan, that was on hold for a long time. for instance, if you always have wanted to learn guitar lesson or to take those dance classes or wanted to crack your dream job or your dream college, Anything. Let’s start them. This will give you a sense of purpose, the excitement for life and loads of positive vibe.
- Forgive Them
However, your relation was, you both might have several things to blame for. your partner could tell you, why it’s your fault and Vice versa. Blaming them will never solve anything, even when it was their fault. Whatever they have done, simply states how they haven’t appreciated you. Holding grudges against them will only make you suffer, so instead, forgive them, whatever pain they caused you, let it go with them. Tell yourself, All this happened so you can realise why they aren’t the one for you.
- Be your own Kind of Attractive
Its time to find your peace, pamper yourself to the fullest. I always style my hair after every heartbreak and yes it works. Take care of your skin, your mental health. If someone else can pamper you and love you, well so can you. Take proper rest at night time, so you will be fresh and energized in the morning. It’s all about the small things you do for yourself, which heals you.
Go Outshine Yourself.